My husband found out he is not the father reddit

. I don’t want to go into too much detail but we’ve known each other since high school, we dated but ADMIN MOD. You need to be honest with him now. Husband found out about AP. Pearson is a legal, political, cultural analyst and strategist. 92 votes, 33 comments. So he announced to the whole world and was just about to go on fatherly leave when i found out. I’m worried they will team up and take me kids from me. I had our baby boy a week ago. Yes, same for my husband. Husband's the legal father, especially since he's on the birth certificate. It's been an open secret in my family that no one speaks about. A place to get personal things off your chest. Let yourself be confused and angry, that’s all apart of it. He passed away a couple of years ago and I just recently started going through his stuff for my mother to sell things off. His best friend and I had a one-night stand two years ago By filing for that divorce you are saying, I no longer trust you, I no longer want to keep this relationship. Thank you to everyone who responded to my previous post. PSA: If your husband suggested or demanded a fatherhood test, please read this. Someone I have met periodically over the years. You’re a good friend. In those periods, talk to your dad. I love my husband but I have needs, some that he doesn't fulfill. At the bottom it says: You must file your case soon after you realize that the person you thought was the father is not the actual father. Actually spent an evening with welcome Company. I think my husband is an adult and he can make the decision to leave if he wants to leave. I can't get it out of my head, and frankly, it keeps me up at I(45F) cheated on my Husband(44M) a decade ago, got pregnant, and gave full custody of my daughter to my affair partner. He tells me very little about his talks with her, if he tells me at all. I was surprised by all of this. He was confused so I explained. Background: He is 10 yrs older than me. Found out my step-grandfather is my father. Breakups. If your dad brings home money for the family and there is no abuse, I would let your dad choose to tell you when he feels it is right. It comes back and I am indeed not her biological father. A person who thought he was the father of a child asking the court to decide that he is not the actual father. I was kicked out of my mom’s by my stepdad after 2 years and I never really blamed them because I was just a burden. After my husband got the results that he was the father he broke down and explain how he found me and how bad he felt for not protecting me. Don't tell him. He said he’s not going to tell his family members, like my grandparents, obviously. He has 2 children with this woman ages 14, 12. You are their father and they will always know you as their father, unless you give them a reason not to. 9. stepgrandpaismydad. We met in college, we're now both in our early thirties and I was stunned when he asked and his reasons were that he had to be sure he was the father, he had to have that certainty. When I said "I lost my husband and my job" people thought he'd died. She's told everyone it's because she was not able to visit as much during the pandemic and wanted to now that she's pregnant. I think my husband might tell him. Because our daughter has developed some kind of white-blonde hair colour I only have seen with my "boyfriend", his sister and mother so I did a paternity test, to clean my conscience, with DNA of my husband and our daughter and now I got it back and apparently it rules him out as her father. There's more to fatherhood than being a sperm donor. However, he is not my 21 year old daughter’s father. l used to see him at our local coffee shop but never really gave him much attention. Only people who cared were my best friend and my husband. This discussion was closed by the MedHelp Community Moderation team. But she messaged me it's really because her husband found out her baby isn't his and he moved out and requested a divorce. Test is still en route. So me and my husband have been together for 6 years, married for 3. I'm just going to say this post doesn't define me as a person. So about 6 months after the other daughter is born the wife moves out and gets a place with her first kids father because he was really never out of the picture. She got pregnant. Being gay isn’t something someone has to be. My cousins second daughter was not his which was found out in the divorce proceedings. Not much to say yet. If he wants to be involved as a parent, he needs to get himself in order. Jun 27, 2014 · Dear Demetria: I am the mother of two. The bio father doesn’t know. Since then I’ve checked out of any parental duties. We have been married for over 25 years. Jul 16, 2022 · In an update to the post, she continued: "We did a few tests. It isn't what he expected it to be. B) You will be liable for child support from the date that you receive the results. But when my daughter was 7 years old. • 7 yr. He's been a wonderful father in that time. He’s wanting to get our other kids tested too. I didn’t know if he knew. Sorry for the length but I need to get this off my chest. This is much more common than folks realize. But everyone just assumed I AutoModerator • 8 mo. Child support for one child will be about 25% of your pre-tax income. But that’s really all he is. You and your husband have only two options: he can either get on board or step aside. Five years ago I found out the man I thought was my dad actually wasn't; I Today I found out my husband cheated on me. Blood paternity tests for him and me, and our daughter, and we had an appointment with a chimerism specialist coming up, but that got ADMIN MOD. We have been married for almost 6 years. No, it’s not like our baby looks different or something, it’s for clarification. I have an amazing husband and father to my children. Why he had it I do not know, but I could make a guess. Idk why it's still treated as secret, though There were a couple other things on my test that shocked me but that was the biggest one Edit: to clarify, I meant open secret as in the affair itself was known. Trust me, that is what you will be doing anyway. In a viral Reddit post, u/tossawaydaddy explained that he A place to get personal things off your chest. OPs mom cheats on her husband for years, concieves at least one child by another man, let's her husband believe he is the father and when he finds out he goes understandably ballistic, then SHE divorces HIM!! OMG. The definition of a father does not always mean there is a biological relationship. If you have any questions please contact us . Need advice. Jan 28, 2023 · Tracy A. The ultimate cleche has happened in my life, and i’m absolutely broken. deny it even when he suspects. Edit: Thanks so much to everyone for all the support and advice. Second. I don't know what to do. I 44f have been married to my husband was 17 years. My sons father (34m) is not my husband. She would bring different men home while he was deployed. Mom got pregnant with my sister and I, birth father gave up his rights and walked away when I was three months old, my dad stepped into the picture when I was a year old. For these purposes, your husband is the presumed TL;DRMy son isn't actually mine biologically and I don't know if I should tell him or how long I should wait to do so. The last child is not his, and he is unaware. But honestly. Had it not been for my sister my husband would have been alone with our newborn, asking himself how he was going to be a single father. The paternity test results came back a few days ago but I haven’t had the heart to look at them until now. Coincidentally, I'm 46. Not to mention the secret paternity test that still wasn't enough for him to trust his wife. Mark and I have been together since college and married for 8 years. My husband is gonna die to get back at me. My husband asked a paternity test for “clarification”. I have not replied to as many comments as I should have, but I've read each and every one and taken your advice to heart. She told me how sorry she was that she didn The reality is their are women who are in my opinion very evil and will try and trap a guy. My husband has a second family. The son was 25. I've been married to my husband for 3 years but had a relationship with him 2 years before our marriage. We have bee together for 9 years, so this happened just before us getting together. I stayed the supportive wife, because I love him. Don’t be ashamed of those feelings and don’t feel like you can’t ask your mom questions. No one died. I found out by accident, and now, I check almost daily to see the extent of his conversations with her. I'm not proud but I have cheated on him in the past. His ex wife still didn't want kids so I almost died having my baby. I didn’t know my husband in childhood at all, he moved to my state a few months before we got together. My (33/f) husband (33/m) wants a divorce because he hates being a dad. We’ve had a perfect marriage. Specifically, where I practice, paternity is presumed when: 1) The man and natural mother were married when the child is born or if the child is born within 300 days after the marriage is terminated; 2) The parties entered r/raisedbynarcissists. Especially when they all wanted to hang out together. I’ve read anywhere from 10-30 percent of Fathers are not the biological Father to the child. It makes sense to be angry. He asked me where I've been I told him I fell asleep at my friends house. Before. But he also said he thought that was one of a couple it could be, implying my mom slept around. Many men wonder, what happens if you sign a birth certificate and you are not the father. He said he always thought he didn't want children and when he met his ex wife he was relived he met a woman who also didn't want children. I don’t see any way out of this other than the hard way. My dad found out, tried to kill him and told him to never get near to my mom again. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. So he’s scheduling one tomorrow. Reply. He confronted me today. The combination of finding out about my wife's infidelity and how upset I was making my daughter by how I was reacting. You have a man who you can call dad and that’s really special. Thing is, I know who my biological father is. I know this is common, I read a study online where up to 20% of children are due to extra-martial affairs Then he told me all the story, a long one but to sum up: my mom and him were in love while she was still married to my dad and he was married to another woman. This is vastly devastating. Said he didn’t know what to do. Ever since then my husband hasn't been acting strange and he seems upset. I don’t want to go into too much detail but we’ve known each other since high school, we dated but my parents hated him so I broke up. He is not the father! My husband had an affair with my sister and she got pregnant, a few weeks ago he told her to get a paternity test and he is not the father! I can relax now. So, basicly she convinced him he was the dad. Give it time. In the world of birth certificates, there are many kinds of fathers. You interview both the attorneys and the counselors to make sure they've handled these cases before. Personally, I would say that finding out is unecessary. Not because of some bs excuse about not hurting you, or making up for it. She lied by omission and took the choice away from you, dude. This past father's day he was upset not mad but in his feelings because I didn't celebrate him or even told him Happy Father's Day. pdf. He asked for a divorce Thursday citing that he cares about me but that I’m not the right person for him. I understand him wanting to get to know his son, but the mother is not needed for this. We have 3 beautiful children, two in college and one who still lives at home. This news really broke me. I'm 39 and my mom just keeps saying it isn't possible. Wife refuses to confess her infidelity. I found out when I picked up the check from the sale of our house and the person who'd been in the negotiations gossiped. Update: 1/21/23 quick one. [Support] [Trigger Warning] I was told to post this here and I hope this is the right subreddit! I'm still trying to wrap my head around this, so please bare with me. We tried to move on with life, and he threw himself into work to cope. Original: Yesterday, after 38 years, I found out the man that has raised me, helped me raise my daughter (19), took myself and my sister (35) in when our mom left us, is not my biological father. A few months ago I started making out with his friend, this lead us to having sex. Shits unravvel, he is not happy (obv) and has to tell the world that nope, just kidding, im not a dad. Actions have consequences, take the consequences. I assumed he didn’t because he kept in touch. He wasn't a good man. He didn’t want the embarrassment of people knowing but he doesn’t want to raise a child that is not his biologically. My husband Troy, 48 found out he has daughter who is 28 and has 2 kids he knew nothing about until yesterday! Let's call her Suzie. Back pay for 10 years will be about 2 1/2 years wages. They isolate the baby's DNA and compare it to the alledged father. Throughout our relationship during the early days we always had issues with him and how he treats other women. In case this story gets deleted/removed: My husband isn’t the father of my son. 1. Drive him (if he doesn’t drive) to gay pride events. If the kids were infants, she might have a chance, but at 10 and 7, the judge would almost certainly rule that husband gets at least partial custody. I live i a small community with no hospitals that provide dna testing. Your husband has always suspected your infidelity and his comments on the Youtube video were to gauge your reaction. The man she left my father for. He does not like being a father. I ran them through GEDMatch for free. Help him go on dates by giving him money, and asking him to be responsible. i cheated on him after his diagnosis with cancer and now he is going to kill himself. I convinced my aunt (Dad's sister) to send me her and her parents (my grandparents who are still alive) files. This is no longer about him, this is about your baby. Same I just found out a week ago. My son looks the spitting image of his real dad and I’m worried my husband might realise. In this scenario, if you never married the child’s mother but did in fact sign a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity or birth certificate, it is unlikely that the court would: Excuse you from your obligation of paying He adopts her and then the wife gets pregnant. Don't be scared, just make the right decision. He doesn't blame you, pretty sure that's right. He was just a deadbeat low level drug dealer. I told him Discovered that my STBXH was infertile in 2014. His father is a refugee from a very specific part of the world and the family is big into their ancestral tree as many moved back and reconnected with family/roots. In my state if you are married and have a child - it's legally your responsibility. This is a huge, huge hit. Thats 7 years where she denied you the opportunity to make a decision about the changed dynamic of your relationship. When I told him and handed him the divorce papers he was in shock and when I moved out the day after my daughter, on April 2, he was even more shocked and distraught. Mark always said he wanted to be a dad and when we had the twins we were happy. Naturally, he sees you in a different light. But he said about 5 years ago he changed his mind. Jan 19, 2023 · A heartbroken dad has turned to the interne t for support after discovering he isn't the biological father of his nine-year-old daughter. Reply reply. The baby isn't who he expected. He found out he wasn't the biological father. My husband has no idea that the child is not his. Long story short, my husband works long hours and doesn't give me enough attention. My partner received notice that he's a father to a 10 year old. Tell them what you suspect, and that you have a home DNA test. He told me we should get a DNA test. But turns out, he’s had another set this In general, there is a presumption that a woman’s husband is the biological father of a child born during the marriage. I quietly ask her for a paternitytest and to no surprise, its stated with 99,99% that im the father. You've always suspected that your son might not be yours, but you didn't think your husband would find out because you were mostly sure your son was his. ago. Well I got home 3:30 am and tried to sneak into bed. The only difference is that my parents always made sure we knew the truth. He got divorced because he wanted a child. They did the Day. There is a special place in he!! tl;dr: Found out at least 4 of my 5 kids are not mine. The birth, no lie. It was also kind of perfect as a one and done- we wanted 2 or Said he didn’t know what to do. We have twin 5 year olds, Marie and Danny. Tldr; he’s done a paternity test behind my back after suspicions and now he’s found everything out and I think my life is ruined. Edit: Sorry for such a short post with no context Apr 15, 2024 · 2. They send the results by . ADMIN MOD. We will call husband,Troy. He actually was suspicious something was wrong. It's possible your mom knows and the two of them have an arrangement. There are bio parents that are scum of the earth to their kids and there are adopted kids who are loved beyond belief. You Claimed the Child Legally. He offer to take a paternity test and that he’s pretty sure that he’s not my daughter’s biological father. It is something someone GETS to be. Regardless of DNA. I can't forgive her for lying to my son for his entire life. Unsure of how to do what's best for my children and marriage. my husband was confused after 7 years why my daughter didn't look like him. He probably found it before my father moved his things out 30 years ago. Another man is on the child’s birth certificate and my husband never even knew about this girl until now. AITA for telling my husband that he’s not my daughter’s father so he has no say? I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. Cry if you need to, a lot. People here make a bigger deal of paternity than it actually is. You also should be looking for a counselor for your kids and yourself. He then accused my son of lying and saying nonsense. Jul 17, 2022 · One woman has shared a jaw-dropping story, which began after she found out her husband went behind her back to take a paternity test because he wasn't convinced he was their daughter's real father. 7 years for her, 1 for you. He would actually believe that I would fuck someone else, cheat on him, and then try to pass off another man's baby as his. I found myself an apartment too and I thought my husband can live in our apartment until we settled everything up. His legacy was stolen from him. My ex husband is alive. He said he’s more worried about me. When I compared my file Encourage him, and ask him to be apart of his life. EDIT: A few points to clear up. I had an affiar and became pregnant, the child is just an infant. Yes the test is valid. Our daughter is 7 years old now and my husband still has no idea that he’s not my daughter’s biological father. My husband and I have been married almost 5 years. I am beyond hurt that he wants a paternity test, instead of trusting that I have never cheated. I really wish I had kept it in for her sake, but I didn't. My BiL found out about the cheating, took the DNA test to prove he was not the father, got an attorney and then found out about the state laws. I (42f) have been with my husband (45m) for a decade. Even though he is not biologically your dad, keep telling him that you love him and appreciate him. We found out this weekend that my (36f) spouse (37m) of 10 years is gay. I guess my dad forgave my mom and to this day, my mom and my dad are still married. She wrote a letter for me before she died but I couldn’t bring myself to read it until now. He was also a retired federal agent. I wanted to go to counselling, and he did not. After being married to his wife for 18 years, a man discovered something unexpected — his children were not his. We’re about to be moving houses and I was packing things away Woman says my husband is the father. The man I love doesn't trust me. I can leave that decision up to him, because he has all the information he needs to make an informed decision about it, and I can instead focus on what I need to do: ensure it doesn't happen again and work on being a better spouse going forward. My “darling” wife passed away 10 months ago. Google it and you’ll find many stories of men who found out years later they are not the Father. LOL Long story short, I sorta feel like something similar was going on. He thought the baby would be his little buddy, easy going, good sleeper, go with the flow. Anyway I decided to switch majors and took a shorter education. Test won’t arrive until Wednesday. Posting to the subreddit 'TrueOffMyChest,' the man explained that So I (31F) have a very similar past as you. Welcome to a giant family of love and acceptance! A) Be liable for 10 years back child support, ongoing until the child finishes college or. My husband and I have been married for 10 years with two children. I may post this on other subreddits for more feedback. You will find that after you cry for a bit, you can pull yourself together for a while too. When I was home for six months at a time, I spent most of my time at work. He really has no choice in this matter. Step 2 - if that test shows that the child is not yours, it will probably not stand up in court anyway, there will be approved procedures. She advocated for our baby, changed diapers, assured him it would be okay. He paid for 16 years. Paternity. But you would want to get guidance to see how to deal with it for the kids. You can talk to family, friends, coworkers for referrals too. My husband found out he had a son from before we met. The subject says it all, I'm pregnant and I'm not sure who the father is. And to just 180 and take that back and say, well I found out you weren't cheating lets go back to the way things were, when the husband told her directly that he wasn't cheating, would be an insult. Your husband is understandably upset because kids that he loved turned out to not be his. Let yourself be sad, especially right now. Changed names for obvious reasons. Your husband's wants and needs are secondary at best. My daughter’s father died right after she was born. My husband and I have been together for 3yrs, married for 2. My advice to you is to not really try to. He cheated and I worked for him, so when we separated I lost my husband and my job. Sorry for My husband isn’t the father of my son. The mother said she doesn't expect anything from him, but he's excited to be a dad. He asked what could have happened. I found out recently that he's been talking to, and planning meet ups with his ex behind my back. All I remember as he was speaking is just immediately feeling pain. The father is her neighbour whose wife knows about the baby. Obviously, I didn’t believe him and told him that he was exactly like his father. Update: This is my last update. I will probably leave my husband over him demanding a paternity test. I don't want to be a step parent, but I didn't want our relationship to end over this. Throwaway for obvious reasons. That ended the argument and I walked off. Just live with the belief that the child is your husband's. You purchase it at a drugstore but you have to submit the results to an official lab and it costs a couple hundred dollars. Someone who has kept up with my on And you can’t even admit why you did it. She's visiting our parents. Max and I have never slept together. MOD. I cannot believe the brazen audacity of some cheating spouses. I'll never forget how hurt my boy was when we found out. May 7, 2022 · Advertisement. AITAH For not celebrating my husband for father's day? About a yr ago I found out he was cheating on me, I have not forgivin him for it and I never will. I just googled 'i found out my father is not my father' and this thread came up. My husband and I started dating. I took off my clothes and snuggled up to my husband and accidentally woke him up. I feel like he doesn’t think like how a normal person should. [35f] [37m]My husband has found out he’s not my sons father. Blood ain't got nuthin' on being a good parent. And he’s probably not going to be telling his girlfriend. Admit to your mistakes, take the consequences on the chin and move forward. So I recently develop an interest in genetic testing (as a research field), and a few posts related to the subject landed me here on r/TwoXChromosomes : My husband did a paternity test behind my back, and Yes (some) men, demanding DNA tests IS insulting ADMIN MOD. I just found out my husband is a rapist. I’ve been an adult and still make sure the kids are safe and fed but I haven’t done anything a father would do. Apparently, the baby leaves marks of DNA in the mother's blood after the ninth week. We argued for hours until she said I don’t get a say in any punishment because I’m not her father. You don't have to do anything immediately. I'm ashamed to say I broke down in tears in front of my daughter. Yes he’s your biological father. So we did DNA test. Thankfully, my husband eventually understood how this can make me uncomfortable. My husband has been horribly depressed since the baby was born. My husband, my rock, has been having an affair for over 17 years. Then after I’d married me and my I also set in motion my plans of moving out and getting my divorce. I don’t know He shouldn't be married to someone he distrusts on such a fundamental level. Found out today I’m not my son’s father. Baby is 5 months old. You cannot file your case more than 5 years after the child's birth. That’s the least you should do to pay for what you did to him. I mentioned this above, but he found out through my 23 and me he wasn’t his fathers child. We have 3 children together ages 15, 13, and 10. He said he and my mom had turbulent times back then. For me, it’s very awkward. We have 2 boys together. Decade later I want to see her but Husband prevents me. . After almost 10 years, I found out my daughter is not mine, biologically. My husband was in a long term relationship from highschool to his early 20s. He raised you, loves you, and cherishes you. How can he not. Because his parents were very well off, they wanted to make sure that my daughter was never going to go Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Update: I (36F) found out that my husband (38M) has a Camilla (42F). What you do in this case is say nothing to your partner and get legal advice immediately. What matters is what they believe. I asked him what his fucking problem was and why he was being an asshole. it was the cliche, corny love story. tldr; ive been with my husband for ten years. I was in the OR for 4 hours (should have been 25 minutes). I cheated on my husband and he found out. In my case, the real father was of Mexican descent, and I'm of French descent, so the differentiation between ou genetic codes was major. Happened to my brother in law. I 29f have been married to my husband33m for a year, together for 4. I was living with my now husband (44 years) and he was incredibly disgusted by the ongoing drama. I fell asleep at my APs house after I told my husband I was going out with friends. What you should do is give him an easy divorce, give him the house, no alimony, 50/50 custody and no child support and tell your kids why this is happening. All of a sudden a woman in Texas has contacted my husband and has claimed that he is the father to her 10 year old daughter. Someone my mom went to high school with is my biological dad. My Aunt's Cm relative to her parents was right at 3500. There's a limit on how long you can cry before you're just cried out. I feel violated in a sense. My husband had split with this woman because she was unfaithful to a new level. He should have addressed his insecurities in a mature way instead of walking out on his wife after she gave birth and ignoring the child for 2 weeks. My husband is an extremely good looking man, and I I just read this post and am stunned. He just found out he has no biological children and perhaps too late to try for any now. Through many tears, big feelings, a touch of snooping on my part, and a lot of honest conversation we made this discovery together. I fully accept I had a hand in my wife's long-term affair; 1 could forgive her for that. The father of my child is a one night stand, which Mary knows and she said she was supportive of me tracking him down. A lot has gone down since I posted, and not much of it has been good to be honest. Fast forward to this June, and I have found out he has had multiple affairs in the past few years. I was furious and confronted my husband who was sound asleep in the bedroom. I'm lost. Moreover, most jurisdictions would prioritize the existing parental relationship. We did not go. Don't sabotage the relationship with your kids. So bazaar. yx js ao ye we ku bi hv ap bc